Bittersweet

Time and time again, I’ve realized that when I named this blog, it was very fitting. Yesterday was another bittersweet moment.

After stamp camp with Bug (another post with pictures I hope), Bug, Littlest, and I traveled to Salem to visit their Great Grandma and Grandma K.  Great Grandma is 93-years-old and has been fairly healthy and strong. She fell several weeks ago and has had a hard time with pain control and walking. Things haven’t gone well and everyone is starting to feel her time with us is drawing to an end.

It’s not been a secret that the person I adored most in my life growing up was my Grandma K. I still mourn her loss like it was yesterday instead of 21 years ago. She was my world. My Grandma C was a different story. We didn’t see her much and my Dad pretty much clouded our view of Mom’s family, so she wasn’t our favorite person.  Once I moved over to this side of the mountain, I’ve had the opportunity to get to know my mom’s family and I appreciate Grandma C so much more.   The day my Grandma K died, I was the last person to visit her.   Dad’s family didn’t demonstrate affection and even though I had a strong urge to hug, kiss and tell Grandma K I loved her, I didn’t follow through and I’ve regretted that to this day.   So, when I left my Grandma C yesterday, I hugged her, kissed her, and told her I loved her twice.   No regrets. 

It was hard to see Grandma, a strong woman of  German heritage, bed ridden, thin, and frail.  She didn’t look well.   The girls didn’t want to have their picture taken with her in her bed.   They don’t really know her.   They did warm up a bit later to talk to her and Littlest kept grabbing her hand and saying her cute little voice, “nice to meet you.”  

It was hard to leave yet it was hard to stay and see her that way.   It will probably be the last time I see her.  

After the visit, we went over to my Aunt M’s house for dinner with aunts and cousins, two of whom are young.  Oh my gosh, the giggling and running around!!!

It had been a very long day and I was desperate for my Chai tea before driving 1-1/2 hours home.   Apparently in Salem they don’t have a Starbucks every few blocks, so I backtracked.   The lady at Starbucks said I looked tired, she could tell by my eyes.   I didn’t say anything to her other than hi and it was kinda dark - oh great, obviously I looked wonderful - HA!

The trip home was LONG.   Littlest whined and cried for the first 45 or more minutes and then both girls whined and cried for another 10 minutes and then Bug hard cried for the next 20-30 minutes.  Only the last 15 minutes was okay.  It was so bad, I just wanted to pull over and get out of the car.  Of course it was my fault because I forgot the bedtime bottles.   They were supposed to sleep on the way home because it was, after all, 8 pm.   At one point, Bug was so mad she threw her binkie and then cried even harder when she couldn’t find it.   AHHHHH!!!!  Littlest kept asking for Sturdy Gurdy, which is new.  

Once home, everybody settled down with snuggles, hugs, kisses and finally sleep descended upon the household.    Whew!  It was one long, hard day.