Bittersweet

I was thinking yesterday about some of my co-workers.  I’ve worked at the same place for well over a decade and a half and at some point in time or another had issues with a co-worker.  What can I say, it’s an office full of women, life has had it’s turbulences for all of us at one time or another, and I was pretty immature about some things until the last few years.   I realized yesterday that even the people I never figured I would like or care to talk to, I actually do like them and do like to talk to them and to hear about their lives.   I guess it’s all part of growing up.  Thank goodness, otherwise, too much unnecessary drama.   I bet they are all glad I’ve matured a bit…now if I can just get my personal life calmed down enough that I don’t miss so much work!

Maybe it’s the pain medication or something, but I’ve been pondering a bunch of things lately.  One of which is how I’m feeling during this foot surgery and recovery.  I’m feeling trapped by the stupid cast and the scooter.  Before when I had foot surgery, I went to school at Clark full time, worked 3/4th time,  lived with Daddy, drove myself everywhere, and went shopping too.  It wasn’t that hard - at least I don’t remember it being so bad.  This time, I feel trapped.  I can’t pick up the girls from daycare, it’s hard to even get around in the house because of their little fingers and toes, and there is so much to do and it takes so much effort that I want to give up.  I’m so tired and out of shape that going very far on the scooter wears me out - by far I mean down to to the cafeteria for food.  It’s not that far.  I love my girls to death and I can’t imagine life without them, but I would like to imagine an afternoon that they were at someone else’s house.    Any takers?   I want an afternoon of non-kid friendly movies and a bag of candy cane Hershey Kisses or maybe a strawberry margarita or better yet a lemon meringue pie martini (or two)!

I’m just hoping that on this last day of 2008, all our bad luck, bad karma, or bad whatever decides to stay in 2008 and not follow us into the new year.  We really need a break.   While we’ve had some really good things happen along with some really awful things, it has taken a huge toll on our marriage, health, and emotional and financial stability.   Oh Joy!

Enough of the depressing musings.   Here’s to hoping everyone has a safe and happy New Year’s!

That’s right, she has come a long way from 1 pound 1 ounce.   She is also legitimately on the growth charts for her actual age, except her height isn’t on it quite yet.   Littlest got four shots today and a finger poke…poor girlie.  I felt bad for her.   She recovers quickly, but still, not fair. 

Celebrating the giants leaps - Bug loves to dance and she making sure Littlest does too!

On another note, we talked to the doctor again about getting the MRI for Bug.   She is truly worried about it and actually told me some of the things she was worried about - scary.   She said she didn’t realize about the scan being scheduled on the day Littest was born and Sweet Baby Boy died and how hard the holidays have been for us this year.  The appointment pretty much ended with the doctor, Daddy and I crying.   We are going to revisit the topic of MRI next week and probably will schedule one.

Oh, by the way, casts suck!  Even if it is purple.   I always had a boot before and so the cast gives me a false sense of protection.  I’m not supposed to put any weight on my foot, but I find that I am - bad momma!  Also, my incisions itch and I can’t scratch them!   Grrr!   I also forgot how riding my little scooter around in public makes people talk to me.  I have 20 minute conversations with people I have never met in my life.  It’s not a bad thing, but when I run to the bathroom at work and I don’t come back for 20 minutes, that’s a bad thing!  I guess it’s good for the social skills.   

Just as I snapped this picture, Big Yellow Dog got his licks in - ick!  He loves his Momma though.

The conversation starter. 

The next picture is the day after Christmas and the aftermath of the new toy explosion.  Remember our tree was dead, so it had to go back outside asap!  The picture doesn’t look so bad, but it was bad!  It was like Noah’s Ark exploded and the animals were everywhere!

Our sad dried up tree - yes Charlie Brown, that is a dog blanket wrapped around the base

First Christmas present ever!

How did you know I wanted this?  Umm, was it the screaming when I took it away from you in the store?

Peek-a-Boo!

See Sissy, it goes like this….(yeah whatever!)

Watch out world, don’t mess with my baby!

So many animals, so little teeth!

Speaking of teeth, Santa gave us toothbrushes in our stockings.

This little girl turned One Year Old today!

It was a very good day.

Christmas Eve Stories

Christmas Morning

I saw my surgeon yesterday and he’s pretty happy with how things are progressing.  He put in four screws along with the bone graft.   I will be off work a couple more days then it’s full time.  You will be seeing me zip up and down the halls on my knee scooter (which I might add needs nubby tires for snow traction).   They took out my stitches, put on Steri-Strips, and then put me in a nice purple cast.   I’ve never had a real cast before, so it’s been an adjustment. It’s driving me crazy where my foot normally bends.  The incision sites itch like crazy, so that doesn’t help.  The place in my hip where they took donor bone still hurts, so real chair sitting is still uncomfortable (hence the few more days off and a few extra pain meds).  Daddy took pictures of everything - cast removal, stitch removal, my wounds.  I’ll post a few, but leave it up to you to look at them. They will be at the very end of this post.  I won’t post the more graphic of them - yuck.   I feel much better since the flu and I’m gaining energy, so life is getting better. 

Just a few pictures from the last couple of weeks

A day in my life - can you see both dogs, Bug, and Littlest’s tiny foot?

Faithful companion - or pillow stealer?

Co-conspirators!  That’s Bug’s sippy cup in there!

Taking in the scenery and the dead Christmas tree

She loves this toy

Ying and Yang

Little white car hasn’t seen any action in a while

My poor kids…It’s a good thing neither one of them really understands the whole Christmas thing.   Someone gave us a Christmas tree a couple weeks ago and we had to toss it out last week because it dried up even though we cut of the bottom and watered it faithfully.  I haven’t gotten any decoration up - hopefully some tomorrow.  They do have presents thankfully.   I just have to wrap them.   Daddy will have to dig out the artificial tree (the same thing happened last year and we used our dinky fake tree just fine).  I will decorate a bit and they will have lots of packages under that little tree.   Daddy wants to deck out the dead tree with outdoor lights and set it out on the back patio in the snow - it should be pretty cool.   We got out a box of Christmas stuff and both girls gravitated toward it immediately - all the pretty sparkly stuff.  I want to get some of the shatterproof ornaments that they have out now.  We definitely need them for the next few years.   I told Daddy that next year regardless of our situation, we will have a decked out Christmas.  For the last three or so years, I’ve either been on bed rest or just had foot surgery, so hopefully this is the last year for that silliness. 

Tomorrow I’m supposed to have my follow doctor’s appointment, hopefully the roads are good enough and the clinic is open - I want my cast off!  No, what I really want is a shower!  No more of these half bath, sponge baths.  I overdid it a bit today because I actually felt good after having the flu.  I ate real food and had tea for the first time in days - now those 5-10 pounds I lost will come back - rats.  I guess this is a good jump off point for a diet.  

Littlest has been crawling all over the place the last day or so.   Daddy has been keeping the floors spotless, so she goes everywhere, down the hall exploring rooms and things.  She is happy as a clam just puttering along by herself.   Tonight, I had her sitting next to me on the couch and she managed to work her way around so that she had her hands on my thighs and was half standing and then she worked her way so that she was standing just holding onto the back of the couch!  All by herself, I just made sure she didn’t fall.   That girl wants to stand and walk something fierce.   She technically is only 9 months old, so she’s ahead of Bug.  Even if you look at the fact that her real age is 1 year, she still is pretty much ahead of where Bug was.  Then again, Bug didn’t have a big sister showin’ her how to do stuff.   Both girls are growing out of clothes fast.   I have a pretty good stash for Littlest, but Bug is about the same size as the little girl she gets hand me downs from.   Off to the consignment shop as soon as I can for a few basics.  She still has some things though.  

Anyhow, better stop before I become more of a Debbie Downer. 

Friday is our truly Bittersweet Day.   It’s Littlest’s and Sweet Baby Boy’s birthday, but yet the day we lost Sweet Baby Boy.  Also Bug is scheduled for her MRI, sedated.  She hasn’t had to go through anything like that.   We are just going to have a small family birthday for Littlest and then have a little bit bigger get together in spring, closer to her due date. 

Stay safe my friends and be well.

Happy Holidays!

Sorry I haven’t posted.  I’ve had the flu and today is the first day I’ve eaten in probably about 3-1/2 days.   I’ve managed sips here and there along with a piece of toast now and again, but nothing substantial.  Daddy doesn’t feel too great either.   The girls haven’t been to daycare since last Tuesday and Bug is starting to get kinda antsy.  She is starting to play with Littlest, crawling around on the floor with her.  She has been very helpful getting things for me and snuggling.  Littlest is out to explore the world.  Today is the first day I’ve gotten a good nap out of her.

If you’ve tried to call, sorry, but we have been too weak to answer the phone.   I never can make it in time to answer, so I don’t even try.   I guess it would help if left the phone by me.  

My beloved 4Runner took a bit of a bump to the hip in the snow and ice.  Everybody is safe, so no worries. 

My foot and hip are feeling better finally, still aches.  I just hope the roads are good enough Tuesday for my follow up appointment.  I’m ready to get this cast off and have a real shower!

Everyone take care and be safe!

That is the sound of Daddy and the girls laughing - Bug is laughing until I’m sure she is peeing her pants.  The dogs are even getting into the game, chasing and licking.  It is the most wonderful sound.