Bittersweet

I am trying to redo the background and such of this blog.  The problem is, I don’t know what I’m doing and I think I’m making everything worse!   Please bear with me and keep reading!  Eventually everything will look better (I hope!)

While we were grocery shopping at Walmart recently, Daddy decided that Littlest needed to have one of Bug’s animal cookies.  She seemed to like it though.  In this picture she is wearing what look exactly like mom pants actually they look more like grandma pants.   Who knew they made mom pants for infants!

I love it when I pick Bug up at daycare and they’ve put her hair up in pigtails.  Today when I picked her up, they were all laughing.  Apparently Bug was making everybody laugh at the snack table and is becoming quite the character.   One of the daycare ladies said “that’s gross!” and Bug repeated in her little girl voice and that set them off laughing again.    

Littlest had her 9 month doctor’s appointment.  She is doing very well.  She isn’t hitting 9 month milestones, but they don’t expect her to.  They measure her by her adjusted age of almost 6 months and she is almost caught up to the 6 month milestones.  She now weighs 14 pounds 5 ounces and is 24-1/2 inches tall.   Her head circumference finally measures in the about the 3rd percentile and her height and weight are almost on the charts.   No shots for her today as she was up to date (they go by her actual age for those).   Littlest is cleared to go to daycare and will get her flu shot and a Synagis shot for RSV to give her extra protection.   So now Daddy is really on the hunt for a job.   Littlest has a very different personality than Bug.  It takes her a while to warm up to people and she seems to get overwhelmed easy, so we will have to go slow with the daycare when we start.  The ladies at daycare keep asking when Littlest gets to come stay with them, they are excited to have her.  She has visited them frequently.  Now there is a little girl in Infant Room I that could be Littlest’s twin.  The resemblance is uncanny.  The first time I saw the little girl out of the corner of my eye, I was instantly mad at Daddy for deciding to leave Littlest at daycare without discussing it with me first.    What a relief he hadn’t.   When you look at her closely, you can see the difference, but not on quick glance.

I’m not sure what you all think of Sarah Palin and I respect your opinion.   BUT, I have to present the Saturday Night Live sketch with Tina Fey and the CBS interview with Katie Couric.  I died laughing at Tina Fey - she has her nailed.   Watch whichever one you want to first. 

SNL


(In case it doesn’t work for you, here’s the link 
p://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/couric-palin-open/704042/  )

Now the CBS interview with Katie Couric

Bug has become quite the helper lately.  She loves to do anything you are doing, including cleaning. I’ve called her Cinderella on a number of occasions because she is scrubbing the floor with a wipe or cleaning her princess ride-on toy.  She also likes to sweep.  This weekend she decided to help empty the dishwasher.  She would hand me the plates and bowls and I would put them away.   Several times I tried to tell her something went somewhere else….nope, too smart for that, she knew where they went.  Maybe she will teach Daddy that one!  She also helped with laundry.  She would hand stuff to me from the laundry basket and I would tell her I wanted white clothes and then we learned which ones were white.   I get such a chuckle out of this because she is so serious and so dedicated to whatever she’s doing. 

Here are a few pictures of other ways she helps.

She loves to feed Littlest

Keeping down the cowlicks

Making sure Littlest’s snaps are all snapped

Walking the dogs

When we went to visit Grandma in Central Oregon last month, Bug and Daddy visited the neighbor and her six-year-old daughter.  They have a trampoline and Bug got her first taste of the big bounce!  She loved it.  Every time we went outside, she pointed over to the neighbors and uttering something I’m sure meant “Take me over there to bounce right now!”

One final note…I failed greatly as a mother last night.  I have always shown Bug things as we shop and she 99% of the time hands it back and says “No” after a while.  I showed her this at Costco:


Specifically I handed her the doll and the bassinet.  I showed her how to put the dolly to bed with her head on the pillow and put the blanket on the dolly and then say “night night” and kiss the doll.  She did this over and over and over.  When I tried to take it back, a quiet struggle ensued.  So we (Daddy and I) decided to finish our shopping and then she would be done playing and we could put the stuff back.  It didn’t work out that way.  She was attached, big time!  We finally devised a plan of distractin.  We went over to the sparkly Disney clothes and while I wowwed her with all the pretty things and covered up the toy, Daddy took the stuff and dashed off.  Bug wasn’t having it.  She kept pushing away the clothes and looking for her baby.  Once she discovered it was gone…oh my God did she throw a fit.  There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth.  She was tired to begin with and this just put her over the edge.  I felt horrible.  She hasn’t attached to anything specific like a blanket or doll, so I never thought this would do it.  We planned to get this for her for Christmas long before this episode happened and were waiting for the next payday.   I learned a valuable lesson.   I go now…

D is for Depressed, Dysphoric, Denial, Defeated, Downtrodden, Dispirited, Destitute, Depleted, Distressed, Dejected, Dismal, Dolor, Debit, Dowdy….well, you get the idea. 

Littlest didn’t feel so good yesterday.  She was very grumpy and wouldn’t smile.  Her breath smelled like sour formula and formula stinks to begin with.   She had a horrible time going to sleep and it took walking, rocking, and some pretty solid back pattings to ease her into sleep.  She would wake up every once in a while and let out a distressed cry and then go back to sleep.  I’ve been struggling with how I have treated Littlest compared to Bug at the same age.  With Bug, I was a paranoid first time parent and held her all the time and she slept in my arms constantly. With Littlest, there was so much time in the beginning when I couldn’t hold her and even when she came home, life was so stinkin’ busy and she had the monitor attached, I couldn’t carry her around without carrying around the monitor or worrying she wasn’t breathing  Also, Bug requires attention, even though she is so good about keeping herself busy.   Now that Littlest is now completely free and clear of the monitor (as of Friday!), did well at her check at Casey Eye Institute on Friday, and is now just like any other baby, it is really hitting me on how different this little girl is being treated.  It hurts big time.  She is such a precious girl, so solemn, but yet her smile lights up her whole face.  She deserves the constant attention Bug got.  Obviously we did something right with Bug.  She is a loving, smart little girl.   Kisses for everyone - Maaawwh.

Cheaper than daycare

Smug that she is sitting in a big girl highchair

Here’s a funny thing - a couple people found my blog by searching for an image of Joann Worley.  Of all the things to link to me, but hey whatever it takes to get readers!

Be kind - Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” -Plato

Okay, I normally don’t scream when things scare me.  Only a snake crossing my path will make me shout out in alarm and I will knock anybody over in my path.  I grew up around rattlesnacks and any snake terrifies me.   But this isn’t about snakes.   

I made the mistake of looking at my retirement account out of curiosity.   Bad move.  The amount of money I’ve lost in my puny account would have been enough to get us out of the hole we’re in and then some.  There is absolutely no comfort in knowing that others are in the same boat.  I don’t even like boats!

This past year has been a struggle, no doubt about it.   I knew when I had to take time off for bed rest, then to have the twins, then for surgery, and finally to take care of Littlest, that things would catch up to us eventually.   Well, it’s happening.  This stinkin’ economy and our situation are colliding.  I know a lot of other people are in similar situations.   I’m at a loss at what to do.   Now that I can make it farther than the mailbox to run away, I don’t have enough money for gas!  I keep forwarding those chain e-mails that promise something good or money depending on how many  people you send them to (sorry if you are one of those people) - I did find a dollar bill on the floor in the bathroom.  I’ve prayed about our situation - I can’t you can, you HAVE TO HELP!  I keep saving our change, but then I use it again.  I’ve ignored the situation, which I really don’t recommend.  I told Big Yellow Dog he has to go out and get a job, but he just gives me a hug and licks my face.   Bug is next - can you say “child labor?”  She is getting pretty good about cleaning.  I would make Littlest go to work, but her hand-eye coordination and dexterity isn’t quite there yet.   Wishing that a check shows up in your mailbox doesn’t work either.   I ‘ve also did the reality check, gulp.  That one hurts too much.  So instead, I think, “What would Kim do?”  Hmmm……

We stayed home for our anniversary, went to bed early, nothing exciting. 

On another note, when I picked up Bug from daycare, they were just having their snack.  Teacher said that all of the kids slept hard for over two hours.   They had to turn on lights, open the windows, turn up the music and it was still hard to get the kids going.  When I came in, all the kids were at the tables and they all looked whipped, some even kinda grumpy about being up.  They were doing sensory activities at daycare and each level had something different.  Bug’s room was doing smells.  As soon as I walked in the door, I was asked to smell something in a bottle.   Ummmm, do I have to?   Come to find out it was maple and the other one was vanilla, so that wasn’t too bad.  I asked Bug on the way home if they were smelling things.   She nodded her head yes (yes is a new thing for her).  I then asked her if they smelled maple?  Yes  Vanilla?  Yes.  Dog feet?   Long pause, then a slight shake of her head, then she said in her cute little girl voice…”noooo”, then she gave me a look like I was crazy.   God I love that girl!

Littlest is doing great!  She is now 14 pounds and I think 23 inches.  Bug is 23 pounds 10 oz, so Littlest is rapidly gaining up on her.   Littlest has amazing upper body strength.      Every time the occupational therapist sets a goal, Littlest manages to do it all on her own.  Itls like she hears she’s supposed to be doing something and then does it.  She even did it when the OT was writing out the goals for the next week and  looks over and Littlest is doing it, so mid setence she had to modify the goal!  Go Little One!

Today Daddy and I celebrate the second anniversary of our wedding.  Of course nine years ago this month we met the first time, so the two years is a drop in the bucket of time.  

Happy Anniversary Daddy!

Yesterday Daddy, the dogs, and girls drug my lifeless body to the park to have a picnic lunch.  As usual, the park was busy, but it was different this time.  I caught a glimpse of a kid with face makeup that looked like Heath Ledger’s Joker, then a couple other kids with face makeup that was reminiscent of KISS or something along those lines, but not really, more disturbing.  All of the kids were mid to late teens on up with some adults thrown in.   Three of the adults came over to see our dogs and to say hi to the girls.  I had to politely ask the woman if she could keep her cigarette away from Littlest because of her lungs.  They all were really nice and chatted quite a while.  One guy obviously was on something.  They finally went back to their group.  Every once in a while a kid would start a chant, like a military cadence, but more anarchist-like.  One guy was yelling profanities as he was walking by our table and when he saw the girls he apologized for his language.  Decent kid - It was weird.  We finally left when one of the adults pulled out a huge knife and was trying to throw it to pop a balloon that another guy was holding. 

**** - Motorcycle gang (Think Hells Angels) residing mainly in Washington and Oregon