Joy and Sorrow in the Midst of Motherhood
May. 31, 2008 No Comments Posted under: Uncategorized
From 10 am to 4 pm or longer, depending on how I feel (severe lack of sleep last night).
Location…hmmm. Here’s a hint. Behind (north) of Orchards Park. Follow the signs.
Hope to see you.
May. 29, 2008 No Comments Posted under: Uncategorized
For some reason, when Littlest had on her headband this day, she reminded me of Joann Worley (circa 1970s, Match Game, Laugh In). I couldn’t find a good picture of her with a headband for comparison.
May. 27, 2008 No Comments Posted under: Uncategorized
I think tonight we finally found a right combination for Bug to enjoy her baths again. It takes the big tub, mom, a bunch of squirt toys, a little pitcher, and Big Yellow Dog.
When Bug and I first got in the tub, she was afraid and kinda cried, but then Big Yellow Dog showed up. He cannot stand to have the water running in the tub without playing in it. It’s maddening when you want to enjoy a nice relaxing bath. Tonight it actually helped. Bug giggled a little when Big Dog tried to get the water from the faucet. She laughed out loud when I squirted him with the toy. She laughed harder when I took the water pitcher and he drank out of it. She was laughing so hard she could hardly sit up. I managed to wash her hair and rinse it with only the tiniest of fuss and she even poured water on herself trying to give Big Yellow some of the water. We were getting so loud and Big Yelliow was barking that Daddy got after us for scaring Littlest (oops). We had fun though and it was worth getting in trouble. Littlest got a bath too, but it was much more sedate.
Speaking of Littlest. Look what happens when I leave her alone with Nana and Daddy. They decide to try “product” in her hair.
The unsuspecting victim.
Hmmm…this feels weird.
Oh my gosh - what have you done to my HAIR!??!!
Grrrr - not funny guys.
Everyone asks what Bug thinks of her little sister. She loves her! Here are the pictures to prove it.
There’s a smile from Littlest
Bug giving Littlest a lick-kiss
Today Bug and Daddy headed out to the park with the dogs. They stopped and played on equipment there for the first time. Bug loved it.
Where are that girl’s shoes?
This is a picture of the two men our Sweet Baby Boy is named after.
This is Daddy’s best friend since high school, he also was the best man at our wedding. He and his family lives up in Olympia now, but were in town visiting family and stopped by to see us. I worked today, so didn’t get to visit but for a few minutes.
I’m working three days in a row this week. Ugh, it’s hard. I feel like I’ve missed out on everything. I also managed to be the first one in the family to get a cold/flu that wasn’t slow in it’s onset. It was like within hours I felt absolutely horrible and sick. After a night of that and a day of blowing my nose and feeling crummy, I’m starting to feel a lot better. The rest of the family is coughing and has runny noses too. Littlest is the one who worries me the most. Her apnea/heart rate alarm has been going off a lot more and longer, she has a cough, and today she threw up a couple times. It just scares me to think she’s getting sick, even just a common cold. I’m not sure what her lungs are like or if they are damaged at all from being so premature. So far so good, but it’s worrisome. I’m glad we have the monitor.
It’s been a busy week and it will be even more so since Grandma K is coming for a visit on Friday We have to get all our laundry done. She’s like an obsessed woman trying to catch it up for us, constantly washing and folding and scolding! We actually have new system in place and it’s not that bad this time, but I want her to just enjoy the girls and I don’t want to get in trouble. We also want to try to have a garage sale this coming weekend (stay tuned for updates on that - you too could buy our junk - HA!).
May. 23, 2008 No Comments Posted under: Uncategorized
Littlest honest to God smiled at me today. It wasn’t just a hint of a smile or that psycho baby/imp grin. It was a real smile and she did it more than once! I’m trying to capture it on the camera, but she’s not like Bug yet. Bug hams it up for the camera.
Whoo Hoo!
She also is starting to make little noises other than cries. She has the cutest little voice.
May. 23, 2008 No Comments Posted under: Uncategorized
Okay, so it’s really only barely Friday, just a bit after midnight. Actually it was pity party Thursday. I’m not sure what’s going on in my head, but I’m struggling. Everything seems so much harder. I’m sure the struggles with Bug, daycare, baths, and sleep add to it. Making sure Littlest is fed at least every 3 hours round the clock. Trying to work two days a week, but I really need to be back to work full time, but I don’t want to work at all, I want to be at home. I desperately need some me time, but that only can happen it seems about 11:30 or later at night. Not much a girl can do at that time, but read. And read I have. I think I’ve read about 5-6 books in the last month. A record for me. I haven’t read that much for years. I used to read at least twice that much. I’m reading anything by Jodi Picoult right now (loaner books accepted). Then that leads to the other thing I need - SLEEP. I can easily say I get about 4-5 hours of sleep on a good night without reading.
The other thing is I don’t feel very good about myself. I would love to curl up in bed (and read) for a day to hide out and forget I have any worries, but that wouldn’t solve anything, and I would desperately miss my silly little Bug-girl. Littlest would just sleep by me. Big Yellow Dog would hang out with me if I did that, he’s a love-therapy dog like that.
Thursday was especially hard. I had an exam at Women’s Clinic and the doctor who did my emergency c-section did the exam today. It just brought up so many memories and of course questions from the doctor. We talked about a bunch of things, which I won’t go into detail because it’s not up for debate, but it was hard hearing some of the stuff. The whole visit I was kinda antsy and unsure. I don’t know how to explain it, but it was a weird experience. I just wanted to cry at the end. I wanted to cry about a bunch of things today, but until right now, I couldn’t.
I went to pick up Bug at daycare and I ended up hanging out for about half an hour. She’s doing fine. I found out she cries for about a minute after Daddy leaves and then she’s fine. Daddy has a harder day than she does. I talked to several of the workers while I was waiting for her to finish her snack. Don’t mess with that girl’s snack. I feel much better about Bug being at daycare. I think the issue was just blown out of proportion a bit.
I also met with the early intervention case worker today for Littlest. They will follow her until she is 3 just to make sure she is on track developmentally and will step in immediately if there is any question of delay or need for therapy (speech, OT, PT, etc). I really don’t think she will have any delays, but I want to be on top of things if she does.
Bug was great at cheering me up today. After a car ride full of songs and nursery rhymes, we played and played. She had me laughing so hard. She would lean over and blow raspberries on the top of my foot. Then she would look up at me and wipe her lips off like it was yucky. I would laugh and laugh, then she would do it all over again. Tuesday when I came home from work, Bug was so excited to see me walk through the door, she was jumping up and down on the couch babbling and giggling. A good thing for sure.
Finally, apparently Bug took four steps by herself. Daddy stopped at Nana’s today on the way to daycare and she did it there. I didn’t know it happened until I read it on the daycare slip - ouch.
So life goes on. I had my good cry and I’ll go read for a bit. Hopefully Friday really won’t be that pitiful. The girls are good (of course they are right now, they are asleep!) and healthy, so what more could I ask for. Don’t answer that!
May. 22, 2008 No Comments Posted under: Uncategorized
Daddy and I are having a debate. Bug has been having a really hard time when we leave her at daycare in the mornings. Daddy is the one who takes her so he feels it the most. Bug will put her head on Daddy and cry. She doesn’t want him to leave her there. She is now in the young toddlers room and she is almost the littlest in there as well as one of maybe two or three non-walkers (independent walkers that is). There also is a bully child in the room, his behavior is out of control.
I have talked to the teacher and she says that Bug does cry for a bit, but then settles down and does fine the rest of the day. Both her last teacher and this teacher said that if someone gets in Bug’s business, she will take care of it herself - go Bug. Although yesterday she got bit on the finger again and wasn’t happy. She’s like a bite magnet. I also talked to the director of the daycare about the bully child and what they are doing about it. The director said they are addressing the issue, have talked to the parents, have an extra person in the room to help out, contacted the executive director of the facility, as well as talked to a behavioralist who will probably come in to observe and deal with the child.
I have dropped Bug off and then gone back about 10 minutes later and peeked in without her knowing it and she is smiling and playing. I also have checked her before I went in and watched her and she was fine. The director said they would also let me sneak in and observe Bug if I wanted.
So, here’s our debate. Daddy thinks that Bug is completely miserable and doesn’t like it anymore and we should pull her out of daycare or at least have her go fewer days (because I’m worried about losing our place there). Nana has offered to watch Bug one day a week at her house if necessary, although she is helping Daddy on Sundays and Tuesdays watch Bug and Littlest while I’m at work. She also babysits somewhere else two days a week.
I think that Bug going through her separation anxiety phase and yes she is having a hard time being left there, but this too shall pass and we just have to power through it. It’s so hard to see her cry and give you that look. I just think that daycare is good for her to a point (like the social interactions, some structure, and the learning part). She is just going through so many things right now. Baths have become a HUGE issue. They used to be fun and easy, now they are a tremendous battle and no matter what I try, she just cries and cries. She is more afraid of things too that she never was afraid of before. Bedtime has become more of a battle as well.
Any advice would be great. You can e-mail me at “my first and last name” @gmail.com or just post a comment. It’s hard on all of us and I just want my little girl to be happy and healthy (emotionally and physically).
Thanks!
By the way, I posted a whole bunch of stuff lately, so scroll down a bit and make sure you read everything. It posted kinda strange, so some things posted before some other stuff. Make sense, no, well, just keep reading.
May. 21, 2008 No Comments Posted under: Uncategorized
What can I say, Bug loves to eat. Last night she had spaghetti with us and had a great time. She ate more than Daddy or I did. She also was the messiest, but the dogs loved that part because something always hits the floor or she feeds it to them.
May. 20, 2008 No Comments Posted under: Uncategorized
We just found out today that the Best Doctor in the World is pregnant with a girl and due in June!!! She has been trying for a long time to have a baby. She has been my OB for Bug and Littlest. She has laughed and cried (many times) with us, gave Bug a whole roll of that exam table paper just because Bug loves it so, literally ran from the OR to be the one to deliver Bug (and barely in the nick of time), and has been generally pretty wonderful to us the past several years. I’m just so happy for her. One time she said, about my advanced maternal age and being able to get pregnant so easily, that there apparently is hope for older women to get pregnant. She is just about three years younger than me, so it’s true.
Congratulations!
May. 19, 2008 No Comments Posted under: Uncategorized
Last Thursday we decided to all go to Daybreak Park and enjoy the sunshine. Since it was so hot, we didn’t go until late afternoon/early evening. It was fun going out with the girls and the dogs. The dogs swam in the river and just generally caused trouble. I used the sling I bought at the Portland Saturday Market to carry Littlest and we used the stroller for Bug with all our “necessary” paraphernalia. We had a blast. Bug ate all the puffs she could get her hands on. She explored the grass and watched the silly dogs run around. Littlest just slept in her little pea pod. It was nice to get out and about.
Another bad hair day
If you look to the upper right of this picture, you can see the dogs tearing off to cause trouble - grrr!
May. 18, 2008 No Comments Posted under: Uncategorized
Saturday night Bug, Littlest and I went over to Favoritest Babysitters house to get together with a bunch of the girls to rubber stamp. It was so much fun. Almost everybody took turns watching the girls so I could stamp. Bug was a little unsure at first, but by the time we left, she was quite the social butterfly. At one point all of were talking and laughing loudly and Bug said what sounded like “QUIET.” It was too funny because we stopped and were quiet for a second and then laughed at her. She told the dogs to be quiet too. I’m just glad she wasn’t saying “shut up” like we tell the dogs at home. Bug had all kinds of fun with Favoritest Babysitter, sitting in her lap, playing - just happy to see her again. Littlest just slept in her carseat and occasionally woke up for food and to take in the sight of all those crazy women. She was pretty fussy and crying by the end. She slept so hard that night, I couldn’t get her to wake up enough to eat the every three hours I’m supposed to feed her.
I had a great time too. It was nice to get out and talk to “the girls” as my husband calls them. I always feel panicked to make the ten cards we set out to make. This time there was one card that I complained bitterly about, okay, I bitched about it. It took me forever and ever to finish it. Don’t ask me why, but I kept working on it and working on it and never seemed to get done. I kept making mistakes, but for once I didn’t really mind. I’m usually an absolute perfectionist and make one card in the time it takes everyone else to make 10. Obviously, I was the last person finished with all the projects. Even though we started at 4, we weren’t done until after 8:30. We had some really yummy food too. It was like the best day ever! However, it was back to reality once we got home. Bug was so tired and so wound up, she wouldn’t go to sleep. It took a great deal of crying and snuggling to get her to sleep.
Daddy was able to spend some time away from home too. He took the dogs and went off to a friends house for a while, then they to the river and hiked around. We all needed the break.
Daddy sold his big old computer desk so that we could turn the room formerly known as his office into Bug’s big girl room. Now we have to find a place for his computer (which is currently on the dining room table) and all the office stuff. Our house is so tiny, there isn’t room for much. I guess we will have to clean out the garage and I will have to get rid of a bunch of stuff. Me the borderline hoarder will have to get rid of stuff. My craft room stuff is out in the garage (obviously not accessible), so maybe we can turn that into the office/craft room/shop someday soon - HA!
Here are pictures of the cards we made (we made two of each style of card and one box):
I love the Cherry card - it’s so fresh and cute
This is actually a box.
And here is the card I so bitterly complained about. The flower head is layered (you have to cut out two different parts for the layering including the original stamp) and has about five colors on it for shading and such. If I ever choose to give it to someone, they better not EVER throw it away. (And to think I made two of this card and it took me like 15 million hours to do it)
I think you can see the layering of the bloom part in this picture
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